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I am Stepfather of three years to two wonderful, but typical teenage girls, and I have a 16 yr. old, physically disbled daughter of my own. If anyone tells you this is an easy task to take on...they haven't been there, or have been stricken by some unusual twist of fate. The challenges placed on them, my wife and I have been intense. But I've learned a lot from this as well as other areas of my life such as career, friendships etc.... I'm sure many of you can relate, and even though I think my situation may be somewhat unique, I consider us all friends here so maybe we can benefit from some useful discussion about these things. Maybe even a laugh or two.
It does matter what other people think of us, wether we are willing to recognize it or not. It's what we think of ourselves that determines how we respond to this. No one respects a person who doesn't say what they mean, mean what they say or do what they commit to do. I have yet to meet a teenager that thinks any form of punishment is fair.
Do NOT frustrate your children. Be fair, explain your actions, but don't stop investigating until you get to the truth. It's a TRICKY line to walk, but being sly like a fox yet gentle as a Lamb can yield some powerful results. "To one who much is given, much will be required".
We all know this one (or some form of it). We are all stupid from the time our children reach ten years old until they are eighteen or more.... ... Only then do we have the means to aquire intelligence. When you told me I couldn't pierce my body I didn't think you meant no one else could.......after all ...that's not what you said. I hope I haven't made inappropriate use of the site for such a Blog as this one, but man....I must find a SAFE Forum for VENTING and having some useful dialogue. there are so many useless sites out there, and you guys are fun to talk to. |
my duaghter sadie was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when she was 3, the bad part was we ddn't know the symptoms till she went to the emergency room, then to pediatric intensive care for 1 month. She almost died twice and pulled through. The group at TPTCC and SMO rallied, i actually had a picture of my SMO car in her room with a logo designed by DJ Thibedeau. AS mad as i get as her hard headiness, i have to remeber how grateful i am to have her still with us. Sadie and her brother, Mikey are both baseball players. I just a lucky guy. | ||
To Don and Mike, your stories were very heartfelt.
Don, your daughter and Mike's Sadie will be in our prayers. God bless, Dan and M.J. | ||
Nice thoughts and comments here, y'all. Kudos to each of you for being great parents, particularly when the going gets rough! Let's face it, it can be really hard to be a good parent when "giving in" can make things so much easier. My hat's off to all the parents that stick it out knowing that even if their kids are mad now, they'll grow up to be better people later....and that's what matters since that group will be raising the NEXT generation! Tommy (no kids, but my g/f has a 10 year old) | ||
Thanks for the good words guys... Sometimes I want to write a world of stuff about things I would like to pass along to others. I get here and I can't even put more than the tiniest bit into words. When I first took on my stepchildren, I thought this would be much easier. that was when my wife and I were dating. I had the perverbial blanket of inexperience pulled over my head. I would agree with some of my friends and say I was Naiive, even though I don't care for that perspective. I had a lot of hopeful thoughts, and truly believed the kids and I would adjust better than that. I believed it could be much more dificult, but I thought we had a good start. I'm thinking a lot of guys (and Gals) go into marriages involving children that are not their own with this attitude. THe engagement to the big day changes everything. They solidify all the changes that everyone sees (and DON'T see) coming. You have been working hard at becoming the wicked step-parent, and finally you have reached your goal. THE TRUTH though is, that when kids lose a parent to death, divorce or what have you, It affects them much more deeply than anyone thinks (even themselves). Being a replacement is an IMPOSSIBLE task for you if children have strong, lasting memories of a parent they have lost- literally. And trying to establish your own place in the family as a provider, parent and voice of authority is EXTREMELY difficult.
For all you to-be Step-parents.
Some kids may accept the idea of having a new daddy or mommy. It depends on their age and their circumstances. Tread very, very carefully in these waters. You can easily find yourself alone if you try to take ground in a relationship on your own terms. You have to move at a pace that everyone can live with. Oh...and don't make it difficult for your spouse. Thay have it hard enough without you feeling like you have to take control of every situation. Sorry for rambling guys - there is just so much to say about this. I can go on, and on, and on ,and on, and on etc.... | ||
I found this blog Don........Wow...Your not a quiter..dont leave
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