NEED OF HELP FROM A DESPERATE COMPUTER USER:
One year ago I changed the software GIRLFRIEND 7.0 for the software WIFE 1.0 that soon gave us the software BABY 1.0 that occupies a lot of space on the disk. Instructions say nothing about this!
What’s very worrying is that WIFE 1.0 auotinstalls on all my applications and launches itself by default when I open another application, ALWAYS stopping the system.
So applications as BEER WITH FRIENDS 10.3 or SOCCER SUNDAY 5.0 doesn’t work anymore!
Sometimes appear a virus that calls itself MOTHER IN LAW 1.0 that blocks the Operative System or makes WIFE 1.0 behave in dangerous ways. Even worse is that I cannot launch anymore the application SUNDAY NIGHT SEX 3.0 and it seems that also the file SEX SATURDAY MORNING.EXE are infected by viruses because they give no answers at all.
I’d like to uninstall WIFE 1.0 and reinstall GIRFRIEND 7.0 or even better an updated version, but it looks too complicated and I don’t want to risk also because I like very much BABY 1.0. I’m desperate!HELP!
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SOFTWARE HOUSE ANSWER:
Dear Costumer,
Your problem is very usual. But the User Instructions warn (on the last page) that the passage from GIRLFRIEND X.0 to WIFE 1.0 may be with troubles:
WIFE 1.0 is not an enterataining software as GIRLFRIEND 7.0, but it’s a FULL OPERATIVE SYSTEM made to CONTROL all the other applications.
It’s not possible to go back to GIRLFRIEND X.0 because it’s been deleted defenetively.
The same about the virus MOTHER IN LAW 1.0 that brings compatibility issues with ALL the systems (it’s been verified!!).
SO uninstall means: uninstall WIFE 1.0 (that, however, come from MOTHER IN LAW 1.0).
It’s always better to wait that MOTHER IN LAW 1.0 uninstalls by itself in a couple of years.
Many users tried to install LOVER 1.0, but with high risks: if, for example, in the same moment WIFE 1.0 starts, the system will crash creating the viruses NO MORE MONEY and HOMELESS.
If at this point you try to install LOVER 2.0, don’t even try to go further to WIFE 2.0, because troubles will only increase!
We advise SINGLENESS 2.0 and all versions of GIRLFRIEND X.0.
If you didn’t do that yet, you must be ready to launch in every moment EXCUSES.EXE, in combination with FLOWERS.EXE. We again advise to buy the package JEWELS with all the most expansive versions, the package NEW CLOTHES (but only new versions!) and EXPANSIVE HOLIDAYS, because these help to make work WIFE 1.0 a little better.
At every launch of WIFE 1.0, launch IMMEDIATELY “YES LOVE”.exe, and “YOU RIGHT LOVE”.exe.
Warning about the launch of application BLONDE SECRETARY IN MINISKIRT and DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE, because these are incompatible with WIFE 1.0 and could bring disasters.
The application SEX SATURDAY MORNING X.0 launches only in combination with DIAMONDS X.0, every time with a new version.
Thanks for choose Our product, we wish you a lot of FUN!

PS translated this from Italian in 5 min, don't be too picky, get the humor inside the story ;)