You take pub crawls very literally.

You’ve invented a Sesame Street drinking game so you can spend more time with your kids.

You start your morning by reaching to the night stand, picking up your phone, pressing re-dial, and apologizing to whoever answers.

You complain to friends that you “got really sober last night.”

Your friends accuse you of “acting weird” whenever they meet you sober.

You don’t call them birthdays, you call them “a-free-shot-at-every-bar-I-can-reach-in-the-next-24 hours-days.”

You think the only thing worse than warm flat keg beer on Sunday is no warm flat keg beer on Sunday.

Youv’e tried to lay down on the ceiling.

You joined AA because you heard you could get sponsorship for your drinking.

Your dentist is afraid to drill in your mouth for fear of an unexpected spark.

Your birthday is a holiday in Scotland.

You invented a drinking game for A.A. meetings.

You match your outfit to the liquor you plan on drinking.

Your local liquor store let’s you put bottles on layaway.

Your office chair is a barstool.

You know how to say “Where are my pants?” in seven languages.

You know you can use Jagermeister as cough syrup. And visa versa.

You’re half scotch, and your ancestors aren’t from Scotland.

You always finish your drinks because there are sober people in China.

You can hear someone whisper “free beer” from three blocks away.
...you add some more ;)... i know you can :P